Understanding your energy, the energy of others and how we all struggle for more of this energy is a powerful way to understand how you act, and how you interact with others.
Every interaction you have with another person is an energy exchange. During these interactions you, and the other person, are either giving, taking or losing energy.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you left it feeling upbeat and energized? Simply put, that person gave you energy. Conversely, when you had a conversation with someone and you felt drained afterwards, the other person took energy away from you.
The “In Love” Scenario
One of the easiest ways to understand this idea of energy exchange is to look at two people who are newly “in love” -- people who are infatuated.
Meet Tony and Suzie. They are “in love” with each other. You know what I mean: They are happy and always together. They have that look on their faces. They can’t keep their hands off of each other. They constantly think and talk about each the few times when they are apart. They are both shining brightly.
Tony and Suzie are freely giving each other lots and lots of energy. It feels good. This is a massive and intense injection of the world’s greatest drug. Who doesn’t like being “in love?”
Taking and More Taking
As you know, infatuation does not last. It goes in one of two directions. It can turn into stable relationship and genuine love, or it can break down into an ugly mess.
Why does the ugly mess happen? Well, both Tony and Suzie have been freely giving each other lots of energy and have gotten attached to it. They love it.
But that kind of energy flow is too much to sustain and can’t last forever. At some point, for whatever reason, one person stops freely giving the energy and the other starts taking it.
At this point, Tony and Suzie are fighting with each other. They are no longer freely giving their energy. They are forcibly taking it. They also use manipulations, which are sneaky ways of stealing energy.
Whoever “wins” a fight, gets the energy from the other person. The energy drain does not stop just because the fighting has stopped. When one person continues to brood and complain about the other, their energy continues to be drained.
This is one excellent reason not to hold onto your emotions. Let them flow and let them go. If you are still holding on, there is still an energetic connection with the other person and they are still draining your energy.
Put differently, the other person is winning because you are still angry. They are taking your energy. The act of holding onto your anger drains you and empowers the other person.
The Struggle for Energy
Energy exchanges happen with all human interactions. We learn as small children how to give and get energy from others in both positive and negatives ways. Just watch kids playing together and you will quickly see what I mean.
Much of life deals with this struggle for energy. Learning how to be the master of your own energy, including controlling your mind and protecting yourself from others taking your energy, is powerful tool for your success.
On a group level, knowing how to constructively harness the energy of others, while empowering them, is one of the keys to a successful organization.
Observe Your Energetic Interactions
Your homework is to simply observe yourself and others with this idea of energy exchange in mind. Think about if you are giving, taking or losing energy in your dealings with others. And are they giving, taking or losing from you?
When you are with certain people, you do you feel a energized or a drained? If you feel energized, did that person freely give their energy, or did you take it? What are the energy dynamics of the organization you work for?
Try to be a neutral observer about this. Don’t pass judgement. Simply look and understand. Later I will talk about how to deal with these energy exchanges. For now, simply be aware of them.
Understanding the world from an energetic perspective is powerful. It gives you a new way to look at things. From this new awareness, you can break old patterns that have been holding you back and learn how to focus your energy and actions in constructive ways.
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